Friday, August 30, 2013

Cooper and Penny playing around at Chickasaw

Some pictures leftover from our June trip to Chickasaw, taken by my mom-in-law ...

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Cooper and Penny and the kiddie pool

Pictures from earlier this summer with Cooper and Penny playing outside at Val's parents' house ...

Val and the kids enjoying a video on the Kindle Fire ...

Cooper and Cody side-by-side playing their own games ...

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Flight of the Agitator

My latest contribution to GodlyDaddy.com ...

It’s good to be No. 1 at something, even if it’s not necessarily positive.

That’s why I’m not upset in the least that we are the new world record holders for Most Stereotypes Met While Traveling with Small Children.

Oh yeah, we totally busted that record when our family flew this summer to Miami. That’s in southern Florida, which is about a 2 1/2-hour flight, which is about 150 minutes, which is 9,000 seconds, and you can be sure that I and my Darling Valerie counted every single one.

There was at least one big positive to having two little kids in tow at the airport. In Miami the agents let us skip to the front of the security line so that we didn’t have to trudge with the kids for 30 minutes

Once on board, Cooper is just short of four years old and Penny’s almost two, you can be sure that other flyers were simply ecstatic to see us board the little American Eagle Express plane.

How small was the plane?

Before the flight the airline workers assembled it using Legos.

When the pilot said it was time to take off, the airport strapped us to a giant catapult and snapped us to our destination.

We landed and took off at Gate D60G in Miami, which is outside, as in “D farthest from the airport.”

Most kids exist in perpetual motion. Penny lives in perpetual commotion.

You know when you’re at the playground, and there’s a kid who seems to get into everything and/or into trouble, and every other parents knows their name? That’s my girl.

Not long into our flight down we realized Penny couldn’t sit behind a stranger since she was kicking their seat, so we had to swap rows with her and Cooper, which also meant moving the car seat.

If anything was dropped under the seat – which of course never happens with two young’uns – the only way to retrieve it was to lay down in the aisle and reach under the seat.

We tried the DVD player, books, snacks, sharks with lasers on their heads, and nothing worked longer than five minutes.

Trying to manage a tired, hungry, and claustrophobic kid can’t help but make you feel like a terrible parent.

At some point you reach that point where you turn into Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV: “If she cries, she cries.

For about ten minutes “eating her feet” is fun, but if you stop she gets upset all over again and Penny says in her own language, “I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further.”

(Yes, I just compared myself to Ivan Drago and my daughter to Darth Vader.)

On the flight back home there were several bathroom trips as well, and even though I pretend to have no knowledge of the Mile High Club, I can say that I’ve changed a diarrhea-infused diaper in a teeny airplane’s teeny bathroom on a teeny table over the toilet.

Thankfully our fellow passengers seemed largely sympathetic. I only noticed the stink eye once, but that might only be because I couldn’t see the other passengers while my rear end was a foot in front their faces.

At least we gave them a great story to tell their friends and family, about how “you won’t believe the flight we had with this crying toddler and her clueless parents!”

It makes you wonder, in the Biblical days did David sheepishly apologize to everyone else in the royal caravan when he was taking a fussy Solomon on a trip?

I can’t confirm that David wrote Psalm 18:6 while he was trying to calm down his son, “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears,” but it is pretty close to how I felt at 36,000 feet over Tallahassee.

But hey, no matter what happens on any flight for the rest of our lives, unless there are zombies or snakes on an airplane we can say that “we’ve had worse.”

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Friday, August 16, 2013

2013 Florida vacation, pt. 12

Heading home ... watching the planes take off ...

The long walk to the the plane ...

Thursday, August 15, 2013

2013 Florida vacation, pt. 11

Group pictures on our last night ...

Dinner on the last night of our trip ...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

2013 Florida vacation, pt. 10

We all enjoyed the pool in Dad's community ...

Taking pictures at Dad's the night before we went home ...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

2013 Florida vacation, pt. 9

Spending an afternoon at the Hollywood Beach and the kids' first time in the (very calm) ocean ...

That group of people in the middle is the rest of the gang ...

Penny was just plum tuckered out ...

Monday, August 12, 2013

2013 Florida vacation, pt. 8

Cooper enjoying the big pool at the Floridays Resort in Orlando ...

Back at Dad's, Jenn drew out some train tracks for Cooper to play with his Disney monorail toy. What a great aunt!

Heading out and about in the big van ...

A nice big Italian meal ...

Sunday, August 11, 2013

2013 Florida vacation, pt. 7

The kids were very excited to meet Buzz Lightyear, right up until the seconds before!

The Buzz Lightyear: Space Ranger ride was the kids' favorite, and ours, too ...

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

2013 Florida vacation, pt. 5

Riding the tea cups ...

Lunch at the Starlight Cafe, watching the crowds by the castle ...

Cruising the People Move above Tomorrowland ...