Monday, December 26, 2011

At least he used his own credit card, or it really would have been ironic

Remember the busted urban legend of the first Pres. Bush not knowing how a grocery scanner works? Now watch our current prez act as "regular people, just like us," as the Obamessiah scan his credit card without even knowing or caring if it's good or not and think, "What if it had happened to a Republican?"

As a commenter says: My wife and I take separate jets to our Hawaiian vacation, on your dime of course, now let me see if I have enough for this Justin Bieber CD.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Penny and Cooper's Many (Adorable) Faces

If you're wondering about the redness around Cooper's mouth, well, he might be a little allergic to chocolate, but doggonit he loves his M&Ms so much. We switched to Hershey's mini-bars to make sure.

Christmas as it might have been

Here's what I wrote for the weekly Sunday School newsletter. Just thought I'd pass it along here, for the holidays ...


Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope all of you have a blessed holiday full of family memories, fellowship, good eatin' and all the gifts you were really wanting but don't really need to have, I mean, because the season is about Jesus and stuff, and you feel guilty if you forget that part just because you opened an iPad on Christmas morning and went completely bonkers happy.

For something that will put you in the spirit, or not, I present Jeff's Completely Made-Up History of Christmas:

3 B.C. - Baby born in manger in Bethlehem, Israel, receives unnecessarily fancy gifts.

675 - Agnes York of 46 Robin Hood Lane, Nottingham Castle, England, makes world's first fruitcake. It remains intact and uneaten to this day.

955 - First Christmas special held by Vikings in Novgorod, Russia, featuring colorful wreaths hung on their horned helmets and handing out plundered gifts to their kids. Bing Crosby hosts.

1215 - Magna Carta originally an Advent Calendar full of slips of paper detailing rights given to peasants, plus little pieces of candy that really made it come together.

1633 - Although history has it that Galileo was put on trial for suspicion of heresy for arguing that Earth wasn't the center of the universe, in reality it was in reaction to an accidental kiss under the mistletoe with an unsuspecting nun at a Vatican City Christmas party.

1775 - Benjamin Franklin designs first Christmas card, a funny design featuring a King George III with a reindeer, inadvertently leads to opening shots of Revolutionary War.

1875 - Hallmark begins sending Christmas stories via telegraph. Women around the country gather around to learn whether the unlikely couple will end up together in the end. Downed telegraph poles in the southwest nearly cause a riot. All is saved by use of smoke signals.

1922 - Coca-Cola creates modern day Santa Claus. Christians later told that if they don't want their kids to believe in him then they don't celebrate Christmas correctly.

1974 - Bellevue Baptist puts on its first Singing Christmas Tree, complete with a 100-foot animatronics tree that actually sings. Next year choir sings instead, lowering the "incredibly creepy" factor.

1988 - Chuck Norris puts coal in Santa's stocking.

Wednesday - Parents around the country run out of creative places to stick Elf On The Shelf, just say "Whatever" and put it on the coffee table until Christmas.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Cooper admires the lights on our house

Cooper loves the lights outside. He'll run around screaming "LIGHTS!" at the top of his lungs and running around pointing at everything. Except our new Santa, which we added this year after Val bought it for my inner Griswold last Christmas. Cooper's not so sure about Santa.

Inside, he wants us to pick him up several times a day to point at the lights and say their colors, and look at the ornaments. Then he likes to sit at the piano and pound out some carols. Sort of.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Cooper and Penny enjoy Bass Pro's Winter Wonderland

Earlier this month Val and I got our eyes checked, which was just a good excuse for my Mom-in-law to see her grandbabies, then we went to Bass Pro for their Winter Wonderland, full of trains and race cars and trucks and coloring and Santa. It was like Cooper's Disney World!