Sunday, February 27, 2011

Cooper trying to get away

Cooper likes to play with my keys, and the other day he wandered off. When I found him he was heading for the door to the garage and trying to open it. Either he just wanted outside, or he was looking to hop in the car and go, too! Here's the video and photographic proof:





The Joys of Having Children

Parenting's Top Ten: Oscars You Ought to Win


Music (original score)

...for teaching your kids to sing the real version of "Jingle Bells," not the one where Batman smells and Robin lays an egg

Best Director

...for organizing a monthlong PTA fund-raiser that actually raised funds -- slacker parents and the recession be damned

Makeup

...for applying enough under-eye concealer to avoid looking like the Crypt Keeper after a sleepless night tending a croupy kid

Art Direction

...for getting the kids to make a "Welcome Grandma" banner without a single fight breaking out over using the red crayon

Best Supporting Actress

...for sitting on the bleachers every Saturday, just to cheer like crazy for the seven minutes your son makes it onto the soccer field

Sound Mixing

...for talking loudly enough that your tween actually heard you over his iPod -- and, in fact, listened to what you had to say

Sound Editing

...for stealthily removing the Care Bear's batteries, then telling your son that Tenderheart lost his voice and needs to rest for a day

Costume Design

...for the Hannah Montana getup you made your daughter from a mop head and cheap jewelry minutes before the Halloween parade

Cinematography

...for capturing five full minutes of your family on video during which no child sticks a finger up his nose or crosses his eyes

Picture of the Year

...for the one you snapped of your husband and kids -- the one that reminds you why, craziness aside, this is the happiest time of your life

(From Parenting magazine)

******************************************


Top Ten: Things You Just Can't Believe You Said


1. "Well, I think it's cold, so you have to wear a coat."

2. "Yay! You made a poopy-poopy!"

3. "The dentist is your friend."

4. "Of course it's your body. But you still can't pierce that."

5. "We're big fans of Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! in our house."

6. "Sweetie, you don't need to lick the cat to give her a bath. She licks herself."

7. "Now, how did you know I always wanted a macaroni sculpture of our family?"

8. "Fine. I'll pretend I don't know you until your friends leave. But you'd better be in front of the Cinnabon in five minutes or you're walking home!"

9. "Wow, you're right. That was a stingy goody bag."

10. "No, I love you more. Up to the sky a trillion zillion quadrillion and one times. So there."

(From Parenting magazine)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Cooper's Favorite Show

At the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, come inside, it's fun inside!



They're not just blocks, they're MEGA blocks!




Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011

Cooper at the mall, pt. 1





Cooper tickled

Feeling Good, But Full

This morning during our health report we had a story about "The Self-Compassion Diet". It's a bunch of weenie feel-good nonsense written by a skinny hippie and won't help you lose a pound, but hey, you get to practice self-hypnosis, and that's, like, trippy, yo.

You know what? I generally feel pretty good about myself. I had a big fat burger and fries at Texas Roadhouse Friday night, and I felt great. When we baked cookies Saturday night? Completely awesome with myself.

You know what feeling good about myself did for my diet? Gained two pounds back. But I feel very compassionate for myself and my weight gain, and that's all that counts, am I right?

KEEP JEFF ACCOUNTABLE

Starting weight (July 12) - 387
Last weigh-in (Feb. 14) - 349
Current weight (Feb. 21) - 351
Lost last week - +2
Total lost - 36
15% target - 329
Ultimate goal – 225

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Cooper the techie

The boy likes his electronics!


Some pictures from Super Bowl night, at Val's uncle Glenn's and Cooper enjoying the pool table:




Saturday, February 19, 2011

Union and The Bear

One of my favorite Memphis Memories, because it proves the urban legend that so many scoff at, that of Coach Bear Bryant's humble beginnings at my alma mater when we had a football team pre-WWII.

In the Commercial Appeal from Feb. 6: 1936:
Jackson, Tenn. -- Paul Bryant, former University of Alabama end, has notified Union University authorities that he has accepted their offer to be assistant football coach under A.B. Hollingsworth and will arrive in Jackson today to assume his duties.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Cooper's first haircut

It wasn't much, but Cooper's Mommy trimmed his rat tail:





Here's one of my favorite things in the world, when Cooper and I snuggle on the couch in our pjs as he enjoys a final snack and milk before bedtime:

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Can't smell, can't taste, but that's okay

I was certainly relieved to be down three pounds this week, although it just means I'm back at my 10 percent goal and I have weighed about the same since October. Somehow, sometime I really have to kick this back into gear and drop another 20-30 pounds.
 
The most helpful part of this week's weight loss may have been my lack of ability to smell my food and thus taste it, so why bother eating anything "good?" I've been battling sinus problems for over a week now. I didn't even know it was possible to have both a stuffed-up nose and a runny nose at the same time. It's particularly bothersome when going to sleep, because I have to keep taking off my CPAP to wipe my nose or blow it, or hold my nose to clear our my ears. Ick.
 
KEEP JEFF ACCOUNTABLE
 
Starting weight (July 12) - 387
Last weigh-in (Feb. 7) - 352
Current weight (Feb. 14) - 349
Lost last week - 3
Total lost - 38
15% target - 329
Ultimate goal – 225

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Friday, February 11, 2011

Jeff's Top 5: Super Bowl XLV commercials

Sorry, couldn't just leave it at a top five overall this year:
 
TOP 5 CAR COMMERCIALS
 
The car ads started stepping up their games significantly, not the most boring of the game anymore.
 
1. Volkswagen - Little Darth Vader starts car.
2. Audi - "New luxury" featuring the line, "Bring out the Kenny G!"
3. Chevy truck - Truck like Lassie. 
4. Mini Cooper Countryman - "Cram it in the Boot!"
5. Chrysler - Eminem and Detroit pride. Two-minutes, kind of cool if you're from Detroit, I'm guessing.
 
Also liked:
Kia Optima - Epic ride stolen by aliens and ancient Mayans.
Chevy Cruze - Hard of hearing and ornery senior citizens.
Hyundai Sonata hybrid - Don't settle for the first installment of an invention.
Chevy Camaro - Narrators design ad as it goes.
 
Fail:
Chevy - Facebook posting while driving? What could go wrong? Maybe next we could project your sexting photos onto the windshield?
 
TOP 5 FOOD & BEVERAGE COMMERCIALS
 
1. Bud Light - Party dogs.
2. Bud Light - "Hack Job" home fixit show just puts Bud Light everywhere.
3. Coca-Cola - Border soldiers have temporary truce with Coke.
4. Pepsi Max - First date, hear their thoughts.
5. Bud Light - Product placement in swordplay movie. 
 
Also like:
Doritos - "Pug crashes through door."
Doritos - "Crumbs fix everything" "Grandpa!"
 
Just weird:
Stella Artois - Adrian Brody woos the ladies with a croon.
Budweiser - Western with Clydesdales and "Tiny Dancer"
Snickers - Richard Lewis whining, Roseanne hit by log.
Pepsi Max - Jealous wife throws a can at another woman at the park.
 
TOP 5 MOVIE ADS
 
1. "Cowboys & Aliens" - Too odd of a concept not to see, especially since Harrison Ford's in it.
2. "Captain America" - How will Hollywood still make this dark, brooding and apologetic for American military power?
3. "Super 8" - Big budget, mysterious.
4. "Thor" - Big hammer. End of story.
5. "Pirates of the Caribbean 4" - No Kiera, no Orlando. Hopeful, but not expecting much.
 
Fail:
"Rio" - Looked like a straight-to-DVD movie.
"Limitless" - Pill lets you access all of your brain, apparently makes you a rich a-hole.
"Fast Five" - Really?
 
TOP 5 ONLINE SELLERS
 
1. Teleflora - Valentine's Day, too much info in dating ad.
2. Cars.com - Talking cars.
3. CareerBuilder.com - Monkeys are inconsiderate and bad parkers.
4. Cars.com - Try stuff out first.
5. HomeAway.com - Secret hideaway of tourism testing.
 
Also like:
E-Trade - Baby and tailor.
 
Fail:
GoDaddy.com - Joan Rivers as a sexpot. Eww. Many, many men washed their eyes out after that and missed the second half.
GoDaddy.com - Jillian Michaels and Danica Patrick unseen nekkid. And this makes me want to buy a website, how?
 
TOP 5 MISCELLANEOUS
 
1. Best Buy - Bieber & Ozzy. "What's a Bieber?"
2. Bridgestone - Beaver saves guy from flooded bridge.
3. Carmax - Old-fashioned service.
4. Xoom - Trippy hit on Apple's famous 1984 ad.
5. NFL - TV shows celebrate football.
 
Also like:
Bridgestone - "Reply All" email
"House" - Spoof of Mean Joe Greene's Coke ad.