Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Last week (Nov. 23) - 343
Total lost - 40
Ultimate goal – 225
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
- A wife and child who meet me at the door when I come home after work.
- Every giggle of Cooper's adorableness. How he smiles when he gets what he wants.
- That the basket by the register at Old Timer's always has a root beer flavored Dum Dum after lunch on Sundays.
- Department stores that have chairs for guys by the fitting rooms.
- Keeping up with people on Facebook I otherwise wouldn't hear from for years at a time.
- A big, loud family in which to be heard you have to be the one shouting loudest at the time. You have five seconds to be interesting or the conversation will move on without you.
- Working on a morning TV show full of witty banter that doesn't feel stuffy.
- Free weekends for paid movie channels to catch up on all the flicks we've missed in the past year.
- When we smell a toot by Cooper and look down and no, thankfully no dirty diaper yet. The pooptastrophe is averted for another couple of hours.
- Chicken fajita quesadillas at our favorite Mexican restaurants.
- The new wave of Republicans leading the House of Representatives. Now don't screw it up.
- Funny web videos.
- The smell of pumpkin pie, as cooked by my Darling Valerie.
- My MP3 player to listen to podcasts on the way to and from work.
- When you need a few pennies in the drive-through, and feel around under the seat and find a whole nickel, or better yet, a quarter!
- Warm days to take Cooper for a walk in his wagon, and the waves and smiles I get from passers-by who are happy to see a Daddy and his boy enjoy a wagon trail.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Last week (Nov. 15) - 349
Total lost - 44
Ultimate goal – 225
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Getting himself stuck in a corner ...
The kid likes his Kool-Aid ...
Our little puppy ...
How do you say no to this face?
Cooper was a big fan of his 1st birthday helium balloon ...
Friday, November 19, 2010
Last week we were watching the CMAs, one of approximately 30 televised country music award shows. During a performance by one of our favorite groups, Rascal Flatts, I couldn't help but notice the lead singer was wearing a glittery shirt, which was actually tame compared to what many of the guys were wearing, and I asked my Dearest Darling Valerie, "Can I pull that off?" It was indisputably decided that, no, I could not.
In fact, as a 35-year-old white male who is unhip, Christian, conservative, a big fan of Star Trek and unable to learn any cool handshakes that involve more than one step, there are a lot of things that I can not "pull off," including but not limited to:
- Putting the lights that change colors underneath my car.
- Using phrases like "Word, homie," or "Fo' shizzle."
- Watching "Mad Men," "Breaking Bad" or any of those "serious" shows that are really just an excuse to have nudity and cursing on TV that get all the critics' awards.
- Texting in shorthand, such as, "UR 2 FUNe."
- Eating (or cooking) foods with French-sounding names.
- Shouting "Amen!" during a sermon.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Last week (Nov. 8) - 346
Total lost - 38
Ultimate goal – 225
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us kids brought up in a Christian home. But I want to stay with you guys.”
Reasons You Fell In Love With Your Baby (And Out Of Love With Your Old Boyfriend)
1. His endless babbling.
2. He loved snuggling in your bed - but always wanted to go back to his own crib after.
3. His way of spending hours roaming around the house naked, his poochy belly hanging out.
4. The wet, sloppy kisses.
5. He was content to lie quietly and gaze at his navel as you did all the housework.
6. His birthday gift to you was simply a wilted flower.
7. His idea of dancing was to bend his legs and bob up and down with a goofy, self-congratulatory grin.
8. His smell.
9. You could always count on him burping right after he finished a meal.
10. The fact that he'll never, ever love anyone as much as he loves his mommy.
(From Parenting magazine)
Your baby can learn sign language!
Here's how to say:
- "Please change my diaper": Turn beet red and make straining expression, then smile.
- "I'd like something to eat, please": Cram fist in mouth and suck wildly.
- "I'm tired": Make a series of weeping gestures before closing eyes and lolling head backward.
- "Please pass me that thing up there that I can't reach": Point and grunt, then continue pointing and open mouth into screaming position.
- "No thank you. I think I've had enough": Throw food or object to floor with exaggerated grin.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
1. Dentyne Pure gum - Oh sure, Dentyne sugarless gum was just fine. And Dentyne Ice a little better than that. But now they introduced this Pure gum that squirts minty freshness out of that first bite, and I'm hooked! I won't go back! You can't make me!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Magazine poll ranks Memphis last in intelligence, attractiveness, first in barbecue
Memphians aren't very smart or attractive, but they can smoke one mean pork butt, according to a poll released Monday by Travel + Leisure magazine.
Travelers rated 35 cities in topics including microbrews and shopping and, once again, Memphis bombed another popularity contest.
The Bluff City ranked dead last in categories of intelligence, attractiveness, safety, romantic getaways, environmental friendliness, athleticism and pizza, according to the magazine's 2010 America's Favorite Cities survey.
Memphis, however, was not outdone in its pork perfection, ranking tops in the nation for barbecue.
Travel + Leisure plans to release its findings in the December issue, on newsstands Nov. 19.
Its fourth annual online poll garnered more than 50,000 responses. But with no limit on how many times someone could vote, even Rich Beattie, the magazine's executive online editor, said it's not a perfect picture.
"It's a snapshot of the people who participated," he said.
Memphis was one of seven new cities evaluated this year by visitors and residents. In almost all categories, Memphians assigned lower rankings than did visitors.
Regina Bearden, vice president of marketing with the Memphis Convention and Visitors Bureau, wasn't surprised.
"If you live in Orlando, you don't typically go to Magic Kingdom. That's true here," she said.
Skeptical of the survey, she added, "I wonder if those people who voted have even been here."
The survey follows a rash of lists painting a dreary picture of Memphis. Forbes magazine earlier this year ranked Memphis third on its "America's Most Miserable Cities" list.
"For every negative ranking, I can show you 10 times more positive stories," Bearden said.
Ironically, those stories have appeared in Forbes and Travel + Leisure, she said.
"They've written incredible stories about Memphis," she said.
To view the survey, check out travelandleisure.com/americas-favorite-cities/2010.
Monday, November 08, 2010
KEEP JEFF ACCOUNTABLE
Last week (Nov. 1) - 348
Total lost - 41
Ultimate goal – 225
Saturday, November 06, 2010
"Syfy orders new 'Battlestar Galactica' series pilot"I didn't catch on to "Caprica," since there was a complete lack of space battles, religious allegory and anything interesting, so I'll be back for this!
Syfy has just ordered a new "Battlestar Galactica" series pilot.
The two-hour backdoor pilot chronicles a young William Adama's adventures during the first Cylon war.
BSG executive producer David Eick is back on board, though visionary showrunner of Syfy's first reinvention of the series, Ron Moore, is not.
The title is the very Spartacus-esque: Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome
Official description: Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome takes place in the 10th year of the first Cylon war. As the battle between humans and their creation, a sentient robotic race, rages across the 12 colonial worlds, a brash rookie viper pilot enters the fray. Ensign William Adama, barely in his 20’s and a recent Academy graduate, finds himself assigned to the newest battlestar in the Colonial fleet… the Galactica. The talented but hot-headed risk-taker soon finds himself leading a dangerous top secret mission that, if successful, will turn the tide of the decade long war in favor of the desperate fleet.
Meanwhile, there's also talk of an "Indiana Jones"-style reality show. Fewer Nazis, I expect. I hate those guys.
Friday, November 05, 2010
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
"Christ Buys Two Orthopedic Practices"
Physician: Heal thyself.
"It's Tough Being an Agnostic"
Some days you can't make heads or tails of it.
- HALLOWEEN IS A FUN day for Memphis Memories. First, 50 years ago in 1960 the dresses were scandalous, I tell you, scandalous!
Everyone knows that when hemlines of dresses go up, things generally look pretty bad, economically speaking. Well, there's a dress out now with a hemline so high they call it the "knee tickler." It started out as a mistake in a showroom in England, then caught on in this country. Now, except for Boston, where it was banned, and the South, it's already swept on a wave of popularity from one end of the country to the other. It's at the Cotton States Fashion Exhibition at the Peabody. "Yes, I've got it, all right," said Eli Lipton, one of 155 exhibitors at the show. "But no one's buying it. It's immoral in the Bible Belt. I wouldn't sell it to the buyers, anyway, because I know they couldn't sell it to their customers." In the trade, the style is known as "war dress," he said, "because when she sits down the battle is half won."Second, apparently there was some Halloween spirit of destruction back in the day:
75 years ago: 1935
Determined to substitute Halloween carnival spirit for the mania for destruction of past years, Memphis tonight will observe the holiday with programs and games at playgrounds and parties in private homes and hotels. It is hoped this will stop the riotous raids on fences, swings, lawn furniture and other property but Police Chief Will Lee has instructed his men to keep a sharp lookout for malicious pranksters nevertheless.
100 years ago: 1910
Darkness tonight will signal the advent of spooks and spirits as Halloween takes sway. Gates will disappear as if by magic, wagons and other ponderous articles will be transferred to rooftops -- so wise Memphians will chain everything they own that is movable.
AL EAST - Boston. Actual: Tampa Bay. *Sigh* I could say that if not for injuries this could have been different, but "ifs" and "buts" and all that jazz.
AL CENTRAL - Minnesota. Actual: Minnesota. New ballpark, good manager, not much turnover by other teams in the division.
AL WEST - L.A. Angels of Anaheim. Actual: Texas. God's honest truth, in July as the Rangers were whoopin' the Red Sox I turned to Val and said, "Just watch, these guys will make the World Series." I may have said "win," but I was close.
WILD CARD - Dang Yankees. Actual: Yanks. At least they didn't win the division, right?
NL EAST - Phillies. Actual: Phillies. They had a tremendous September to win the division, then crumpled in the playoffs. I was fine with this.
NL CENTRAL - St. Louis. Actual: Cincinnati. Really? Did the Cards even try after July? What a weak effort. Quick, name me two Reds players.
NL WEST - Colorado. Actual: San Francisco. Rockies tried to come back, but the Giants were too busy letting the Padres implode.
WILD CARD - Atlanta. Actual: Atlanta. Gritty bunch stuck around even after Chipper went down with two months left.
WORLD SERIES - Red Sox over Phillies. Actual: Texas vs. San Francisco. You didn't see that coming, either. Giants had some masterful pitching.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Monday, November 01, 2010
Sunday night we had our church Fall Festival, so we brought Cooper to show him off for Val's parents' friends, and to look cute for pictures. He's too young to enjoy the games and candy, but he'll be ready by next year!
Afterward we all went to Chili's so Cooper could chew on his Granddaddy's watch ...
KEEP JEFF ACCOUNTABLE
Last week (Oct. 25) - 350
Total lost - 39
10% target - 349
Ultimate goal – 225