GREAT MOMENTS IN SOLO JEFF
Val's in Nashville until tomorrow, so Jeff's alone at home, finishing painting the nursery, ordering a chest of drawers for Cooper to sleep in unless I get the crib put together soon, and watching "Clerks II" on Comedy Central.
I didn't shave, though at least I did take a shower, then burned the top of a plastic bowl in the dishwasher, which was a terrific smell for a few hours, mixed with a big pot of Mom's chili and the wet paint.
But hey, it was Saturday, I didn't have to go to work, and there were some good college football games on. The Kiffins did a heck of a lot better than I thought (figuring that the 28-point spread in favor of Florida was on the low side).
GREAT MOMENTS IN MOVIE ORIGINALITY
From the creators of "Wild Hogs" comes a new movie titled "Old Dogs." Here are some suggestions for future movies by this inventive group of comedians:
GREAT MOMENTS IN GOING NO. 1
You know you want to see the pictures in this article: "Space Shuttle Unleashes Magnificent Plume of Pee." The Constellation Urine is pretty cool.
GREAT MOMENTS IN CIVILIZED DEBATE
Nancy Pelosi relates the murder of two Democrat politicians in the 70s as an example of what spirited protests can inspire. Of course, the murders she refers to were by another Democrat, but that's irrelevant to Pelosi.
Other Democrats in the media (but I repeat myself) take the theme even further back, saying that Obama is a target because Republicans were responsible for JFK's assassination. Of course, Oswald was a Commie, not a Republican, but you knew that already.
GREAT MOMENTS IN GAME SHOWS
Like a scene right out of Saturday Night Live's Celebrity Jeopardy! spoofs, Wolf Blitzer finished the second round at negative 4600 points. Trebek very condescendingly had to "give" Wolf $1,000 to stick around for the final round.
GREAT MOMENTS IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION'S FOREIGN POLICY
The Polish prime minister won't take Hillary's call after Obama abandoned Poland and the Czech Republic on missile defense, and on the 70th anniversary of the invasion of Poland by the Soviets, to rub it in a little bit.
GREAT MOMENTS IN GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown introduced a Patient's Bill of Rights to promise everyone the "right" to hospital treatment within 18 weeks. How generous.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRIVACY
"Taylor Swift: I have trouble buying underwear now that I'm famous"