Ranking the top ten finalists from last night's performances:
1. Recycled Percussion - My new favorites to win it all, after the fire juggler blew it last week. These guys have style and hey, who doesn't like watching guys bang on stuff?
2. Barbara the Opera Singer - I don't know the genre, but the judges think she's great and she sounds impressive.
3. Lawrence Beamen - I liked him better when he was doing "Old Man River" in his audition. With his deep voice I figured he should automatically take over the job of singing it during the Sunset Symphony here in Memphis now that the guy who originally sang it passed away. It's not that Beamen can't pull off Barry White's "My First, My Last, My Everything," it's that he doesn't scream, "Make love to my music."
4. Three Tenors - The wannabe cowboys can't pull off a long show, though they do seem like good guys with great voices.
5. The Fab Five - They need a lead, like Michael Flatley, to keep from looking like backup dancers in "Riverdance."
6. Drew Stevyns - Ho hum, a soloist trying to David Cook songs to fit his own style. And yes, I used "David Cook" as a verb.
7. Kevin the Chicken Farmer from Kentucky - His ballads in the audition and second round were great. His take on Aerosmith's "Don't Want To Miss a Thing" was cover-your-ears awful.
8. Hairo Torres - Formerly known as the Funky Dancer Guy, though last night he tried some emotional contemporary style that wasn't terrible, just nothing new.
9. Voices of Glory - Val and I remain ardently against kids participating. And this trio of siblings weren't even that good, but the judges can't say so because then they'd look mean, and America votes for them because gosh, they're just so adorable. We feel manipulated, and not guilty at all for saying that there needs to be an age limit.
10. Grandma Lee - Don't get it. Ha ha, she's old and tells dirty jokes? Whatever. She's not funny. Never made me laugh once, so now we start fast-forwarding when she comes on.