Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Plan

Monday night we got a home visit from a dietitian who freelances with the healthcare group her Ob/Gyn uses to help Val set up a plan to battle her gestational diabetes.

Bonus points: The dietitian didn't criticize Val for her lack of veggies, merely suggesting alternatives and allowing Val to figure out what she could eat and what she couldn't. Which is good, because Val doesn't like most veggies, and frankly I'm not going to make her. I knew what she liked and didn't like when I married her, and it's not my duty to change her, am I right?

(Disclaimer: Val has every right to change my habits. I mean, really, do I have to tell the same jokes a million times? And who leaves the house without caring how wrinkled their clothes are?)

Taking it like a pro and without complaint, Val now has to prick her finger four times a day for 21 days, and was given all the supplies to do so, including a peachy keen electronic monitor that actually sucks the blood off her finger onto a little stick for a reading. Then Val has to call in the number to the group, which is keeping track. No word on if the Obamessiah himself will call down the authorities to pull the plug on the plan if Val isn't following closely enough.

Val also has to pee on those Ketone strips that are so popular with Atkins dieters, measuring carb intake. I had to laugh when the dietitian explained that it's not good when your body doesn't have enough carbs and must burn from fat instead.

Which, of course, is the entire point of the Atkins Diet, in between constipation and getting sick of eating sausage and green beans all the time. Yeah, I tried it in college. Even I couldn't stand to eat that much meat without veggies.

The basic point to Val's plan seems to be to keep her as hungry as possible all day long, because that's what's happening. Even though she eats something every two hours, it's never enough of a portion, so she's always anticipating the next unfilling meal.

One of the teachers at her work just told Val about her 12-pound son, courtesy gestational diabetes, so that may be all the motivation Val needs to stay with the diet plan. And the teacher had the baby naturally. Owie.

Speaking of, anyone want to revise their numbers for the Baby Valfrey Challenge after recent health revelations? I may not require all entries finished until the end of September, hoping Cooper isn't five weeks early, of course.


erin said...

Finger pricks FOUR times a day? Poor Valerie. And a 12 pound baby? *Shudders*

Scott Rushing said...

This is why God made women to have babies, and not men. I couldn't handle all of that.

The Chipped Mug said...

Amen Scott! We are big wooses...but don't tell our wives....shhh....

Jeff said...

I third that.