Before I get to SYTYCD, I have to mention that we did, in fact, watch the premiere of Fox's "More to Love" on Tuesday night. It's done by the producer of "The Bachelor," and takes the same format, 20 desperate women try to woo one guy, and they even start things off with a cocktail party the first night. The only difference is that instead of all the women being size 2s, these women are size 20s. Which, instead of enjoying the women getting catty and desperate, instead ends up being sad.
The guy, Luke, is 6'3" and over 300 pounds, so he's been shopping in the husky section and I can sympathize with his plight, until it seems like he says all the right things a little too much (or he has to do so too much because the girls are all so desperate and depressing), and then he goes about finding ways to get kisses from a few. I thought that was a jerk move. Too soon, dude.
Unsurprisingly, just as in "The Bachelor," there are only about a handful of women who are actually there for Luke, the guy, to choose from (some I wouldn't even consider "fat"), and the rest are either a little crazy or not his type. Thus, the first five were easy to pick to leave, including the heaviest girl (they provide height and weight for all of the women), the biggest girl in proportion, the oldest, a boring chick who didn't even get an exit interview, and the drunkest at the party.
Will we keep watching? A little bit, but if the show is nothing but constant whining about how this show can redeem their faith in themselves because they're so big and queens of Loserville, it may get too dramatic.
The final six will become the final four tonight on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE NIGEL DROOL. Wednesday night was full of spirited dances, though none really stood out, meaning no one is sure to go or sure to stay.
The guys lead us off with a group number just as "dark and abstract" as Evan guesses it would be with Sonya as the choreographer, who supposedly used Willy Wonka as her inspiration. I don't know, I didn't see any Oompa Loompas in there. Okay, I've never read the book or seen the movies, so I have no clue what she's talking about. Maybe they all ate a chocolate bar on the way out? Lil' C is guest judging and immediately praises Brandon and Ade. Play favorites much? Then he gives Evan a backhanded compliment for "not getting swallowed by the excellence" of his partners. Um, thanks? Evan could do the backflip, but would Nigel ask him to stop with the droopy eyelids some more? Nope, Nigel completely backtracks and grovels at Evan's pasty feet.
JEANINE & ADE - They start out with a samba and it was hot stuff. I was impressed with Ade's footwork and Jeanine really shook that peacock on her butt. And then the judges get all buzzkill on us and go negative, so way to kill the audience's good vibes, guys. Their second dance is a hip-hip number featuring lots of boxes to move around the stage. The rehearsal focused on her being clumsy, so naturally I spent the whole dance watching her to see if she screwed up. She did not. Lil' C comes through with the most backhanded compliment of them all, "It was better than I thought you would do." Nigel credits his show for being the most awesomest awesome dance show of the awesomes.
I just realized that for the solos there's no more countdown clock, which means no annoying counting by the audience as if it's Times Square on New Year's Eve. Thanks, Show!
MELISSA & EVAN - They lead off with a Broadway number, which should be good for Evan except that Lil' C goes negative again, while Nigel credits Melissa for being super cool, which she is, so he's right. We thought it was fun. Their follow-up is a quickstep, which could spell doom. In rehearsal everyone makes a big deal about her being taller, though really, do you care? I didn't care. The audience wouldn't care. Lil' C, who clearly has his favorites in Ade and Brandon, calls out Evan for some move no one's ever heard of, Mary says it "crumbled" and it's a tough routine to get second before the voting.
KAYLA & BRANDON - Their first routine is contemporary, fitting for both, showing off his strength and athleticism and her legs and ability to hit any position. Lil' C calls it "intense," Mary screeches, Nigel credits the perfect technique. Their second bit is a disco dance that is all flips, twirls and lifts, leaving me yearning for the more classic disco that Melissa and Ade did weeks ago. Lil' C says something about hearing in the darkness with their ears(?), Mary calls it a "home run" and Nigel runs around yelling all fake like a twit whose crotch is on fire.
In his solo, Brandon comes out nearly naked in a mankini to the dramatic music of "O Fortuna," and Nigel calls it one of the best solos ever on the show. I think he's gross with all the muscles and stuff. Yeah, that's the ticket!
The girls wrap things up with a group number choreographed by Sonya and based on superheroes, dressed in superhero costumes that no doubt fulfilled the fantasy of many a comic book geek watching at home with one eye on the TV and the other on his World of Warcraft computer game. Lil' C strangely criticizes them a little even though it won't matter to voting unless you single out someone, and Nigel makes a reference to gawking at Jeanine's cleavage, the perv.
Who is going home tonight? I have no idea. I do think that Kayla deserves a spot, though Val thinks she's getting the boot. For the guys, Brandon has been on the fast-track to the finale since the auditions, so Evan or Ade? Your guess is as good as mine. I guess Ade.