SUNDAY SCHOOL AS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE MICRO MACHINE GUY - At church this weekend Val and I tried out a new Sunday class (our first since moving back to Memphis, having only attended services in the meantime). It was recommended to her parents for us. We will likely be looking elsewhere this weekend. The teacher is super nice, funny and seems to be a devout follower of Christ. We started to wonder when, by 9, we were two of three people in the room, when supposedly Sunday School begins at 9. He told us that usually many don't arrive until late, being that they work around the church or are in the choir to start the 9a service. So we didn't even get started until 9:15.
I was glad we started late after all, because when the teacher started talking within ten seconds my mouth dropped and I wrote "Holy crap" on my notes. He spoke so fast, so rapid-fire and loudly that I thought it was an act at first. If you've seen the Next Food Network Star this summer, just think of how Teddy "turns it on" and you'll have an idea. I was scared to look at the clock to see how much longer for fear of seeming too obvious. Val couldn't look at my notes anymore to keep from laughing, and I was on edge trying to keep up. It might have been easier if he had been going over a lesson, but no, this was a full-fledged sermon without our input or help, 30 minutes of making me twitchy. Ye gads.
A NEW PERSPECTIVE - We also started sitting this weekend away from Val's parents and grandmother, which is always about six rows from the preacher in the dead center aisle. Instead, we sat off to the side and towards the back. In other words, close to the bathroom, so Val wouldn't have to keep walking out during the hymns or that awkward step out during the invitation so that people around us wonder at first if she's making a decision. No, just the decision that she can't wait any longer and the good Lord will understand since he came up with the whole "go forth a multiply" edict.
LITTLE BOY BLUE AND THE MAN IN THE MOON - For his Father's Day sermon, the interim pastor actually quote the entirety of the song "Cats in the Cradle." This weekend I was looking forward to hearing him quote one of the newer patriotic songs, but I guess he shied away from quoting the lyrics, "We'll put a boot in their a**."
Speaking of the Father's Day service, I did not stand up when the pastor recognized the dads in the congregation. Next year I'll enjoy that privilege!
WELL THAT WAS EASY - Remember earlier this spring how the county's four-year reappraisals came out, and mine went up nearly 10 percent, which was over $17,000 more than we paid for Valfrey Estate in 2008? I submitted an informal review request earlier this month, and they approved my request to knock it down $14,000 before I even submitted the paperwork. So, um, take that, government?
SIGN YOU'RE LIVING WITH A PREGNANT WOMAN - Between the kitchen, living room and master bedroom I'm always smiling at the number of little bags of Cheez-Its and Mini Muffins laying on tables.