Thursday, May 10, 2007

To Vent, Or Not To Vent

Still checking in on the old hometown online for the latest quotable (i.e,. no whiny liberalism) Vents posted in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

- Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.

- When closely examined, liberalism is founded upon the delusion that there is no evil in the universe — except for the GOP.

- My wife drives like a snail. One time I chewed her out for it, and she looked in the rear view mirror at the mile long line behind her and said, “I’m just going as fast as the cars behind me.”

- Sometimes when I’m feeling naughty, I pop the microwave popcorn with the wrong side up.

- Are you ladies aware that talking on a cellphone while you’re driving makes your butt look big?

- From a Southerner’s perspective, what the world really needs is a cornbread bagel.

- Regular gas is almost $3 a gallon. I’m glad the Democratic Congress fixed that problem!

- Dear Doctor: Dumping your patients into an examination room and having them wait for 45 minutes does not fool anyone. At least there are magazines in the waiting room.

- What happens during the 19th hour if you’re wearing an 18-hour bra?

- If your dentist’s tools say Craftsman, you might want to go elsewhere.

- It appears the French are smarter than the Democrats. They have elected a pro-American president.

- If a Democrat wins the White House, the president’s limo should have a “Sponsored By CNN” sticker. (Jeff note: I work for Fox now, so I can post this!)

- After 50 years of marriage, I still wear the pants in my family. Of course my wife still tells me which pair to wear.

My Vents:

- Does anyone actually eat the squishy pork part in pork 'n beans cans?

- The problem with Harry Reid's statement that we've lost the war in Iraq is that he has a vested interest in making it happen, lest he look foolish. (Courtesy Jay Nordlinger.)

- It is contemptible that Defeaticrats are calculating the fall of Iraq to the degree in which it will bring victory for them in Ohio and Florida. (Courtesy Mark Steyn.)

- You folks who drive under the speed limit know that you don't get extra points from the cops, don't you? (Stole that one from my father-in-law.)

- House hunting would be more fun if the realtor wasn't always lurking behind us, preventing us from feeling free to be honest about the tacky decor of the current homeowners.


Michael - Lover of Amy said...

Yes, you work for Fox now, but your profile still has you in Atlanta and working for CNN. Update it or come home.

amy said...

these made me laugh..I only use the word squishy as it applies to fat babies. I dont think i have ever used it in regards to pork and beans..

When is our scheduled road trip?

Jeff said...

Oops! Time to update the profile!

Scheduled road trip? Hmmm, had dinner with Steve and Jenny tonight, and her offer to get you a job at LeBonheur still stands!