Tuesday, May 08, 2007

On the telly

American Idol

Judge Judy's in Ryan's house, eh? Fitting. She's the only other person besides Simon who can make a reality show figure cry, beg and yell with a lift of an eyebrow.

The whole night is Bee Gee night? What's next week, Bob Dylan? The question, therefore, is who can hit the dog-ear-only decibels of those high notes.

Melinda - Still should win, best pipes, but tonight just usual Doolittle adorable magic. Which apparently comes from staying positive at all costs. She even changed a verse of "How Do You Mend A Broken Heart" to keep from saying the word "loser." I tried that once. Apparently when you try to stay positive in a golf tournament by writing a 4 even though you bogeyed a par four, this is "against the rules."

Blake - Last week he dyed his hair black. This week he adds a skunk streak of white to the front. Looking to take the mantle of Hair Contestant from Sanjaya? The guy is a freak show. All that beatboxing, he wouldn't get a vote from Hasselhoff on America's Got Talent. All that "uh-uhing," he sounds like that goat in the new AFLAC commercials. For a good five weeks, he sang "normally." But Dr. Jekyll has given way to Mr. Hyde again, as seen by his strange sweater that was patterned on one side and solid white on the other. Pick a persona, Blake, and stick with it!

LaKisha - PG-13 warning! Her boobs are back! Don't look directly at them! Egad, she looks like she's advertising on late night for 1-900-CHUB-LUV. As for entertainment value, "Staying Alive," she's not. This is bad karaoke at best. She might do better with "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."

Jordin - Her problem? She can't dress herself in anything flattering. She looks like she's preparing the feast on Fiji, in those big mumu things the Pacific Islanders wear. Which distracts from the fact that she was the best performer Tuesday night. Absolutely recovered from The Bon Jovi Debacle, as it will be known in Idol history books.


Now the Chinese are easily invading CTU and holding the best agents in the country hostage? Way to secure those sewers, guys. Not like y'all haven't been attacked about, oh, once a season or anything. General Hospital had a hostage situation earlier this year that was better done, and more dramatic. I'm not admitting that I watched any of it over my wife's shoulder, and if you suggest it I'll post a comment on your blog accusing you of kicking puppies.


So who's going to blow up New York? Will anyone? Best show on TV, but I'm kind of getting impatient. Unite all of our heroes and let's figure this out already!

Dancing With The Stars

America, our long national nightmare is over! Billy Ray and his Achy-Break groin thrusts is over! Don't see how Joey ended up in the bottom two this week, however. Keep an eye on that next week.

The Bachelor

Never watched before, but as I have a feeling I'll be saying this a lot from here on out, surprisingly fun to watch with my wife. Strange beefcake guy, whiny bimbos, and Val finds it just as funny when I make fun of the women in tears as they drive away unpicked and crying, "I can't believe how fast I fell for him!" after one half-date and five minutes in a hot tub full of 15 women, what's not to enjoy?


Michael - Lover of Amy said...

Kinda boring with 24 as a show now, especially since it is up against Monday NIght RAW which is somehow a more-believable show at this point. I also think I may stick to DVR'ing as much as possible and watching it all at once. The enthusiasm for the next episode is a lot less when you have a week to wait for it.hojstq

amy said...


On another note BH 90210 season 2 came out Tuesday. Have you finished season 1 yet?

Got you email and Michael was happy to know we will have a connection with you even though you walked away from us..


Jeff said...

Don't worry, Amy, I don't plan on blogging the results tonight; gotta get to bed for my 1a wake-up call for work!

And no, no 90210 DVDs, though I had my fill with the cast supporting Ian at Dancing with the Stars. Except Luke Perry. What, he's too good for Tori and Jenny?

JorgeR said...

"cough cough", Jeff, 90210?...PLEASE tell me you do NOT have the complete series on DVD....PLEASE....Rann?...

amy said...

ooohh.. I think I started a false rumor...oops

Rann said...

Jeff, this is your DAD!!!! Burn the BH 90210 DVD's NOW!!! Especially if Tori Spelling is in them (but the ones with Jennie Garth, send to me).

Jeff said...

Nah, no 90210 DVDs. Besides, I watched the entire series the first time, no need rehashing that again.