In the spirit of Valentine's Day week, courtesy Grif.net:
DEFINITIONS IN MARRIAGE BY GENDER
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car’s hood.
male: The fastener at the top of the back of a woman’s dress above the zipper.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
male: Scratching out a note before taking off for a weekend with the
BUTT (but) n
female: The part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.”
male: What you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, home run, or goal.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not spending all night staring at other women or automobiles.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done with the boys or a ball.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 minutes