- Iraq really is full of My Lai copycats! The horror! U.S. troops are like the SS!
- I know there’s a joke in here somewhere: Viagra may aid in the treatment of enlarged hearts. How about this: If you heart is enlarged for more than four hours, call a doctor. No?
- So now global warming is keeping the world from a new ice age. Keep that Taco Bell coming!
- There’s no link between cancer and your personality. Thank goodness. I can continue to be a smart aleck and still be healthy!
- Angry pilgrims in India stampeded: “We wanted Stove Top stuffing! And no cranberries out of a can that make that awful squishy sound!”
- Still think the inaugural protestors “support the troops but hate the war”? Stop thinking that. This is just for wacko tinfoil-hat wearing loons, right? Nope, Michael Moore said as much, too.
- Rolling Stone relented and is allowing an ad for the Bible to run, after initially refusing it. I wonder what changed their minds, the locusts, plagues or death of their firstborn?
- The astronauts in the International Space Station left the station unattended while they stepped outside. At first panic struck when one of them realized they locked the door with the keys inside, but a call to On*Star fixed the problem.
“Um, yeah, this is embarrassing, but I’m in orbit, and locked out. Help?”
“No problem, sir, the doors should open in a few minutes. Thanks for using On*Star’s Space Unit, available on all new Chrysler Space Stations, with the Every Radio Wave Makes It To You option.”
- It’s way past Christmas, and my birthday isn’t for another ten months, yet I was nearly driven to tears by the extreme generosity shown by