Longhorn, well done

The favorite hangout when we drive up for dinner with the Jackson Gang, Longhorn Steakhouse, burned down the other day. *sigh*

You must rebuild!

And when I say burned down, I mean, "charred like nobody's business!"

Wouldn't want your guy to look bad

- WHAT LIBERAL MEDIA? The Business and Media Institute studied differences between how the press covered the 1983 recession and unemployment numbers with Reagan as president against this year, and concluded that "network reports were 13 times more negative in their treatment of Reagan than Obama."

- From the "imagine if this was Bush and he had waited months to make a decision on Afghanistan" files, someone reports from a couple of weeks ago: "Today - Obama ties Pres. Bush in the number of rounds of golf played in office: 24. Took Bush 2 yrs & 10 months."

- In writing about the remains of a Civil War soldier being buried in Nashville, USA Today writer Oren Dorrell proved why folks in the South keep starting arguments with Yankees. It was unclear if the soldier was Federal or Confederate, so this is how Dorrell leads off:

"He may have died trying to preserve the Union. He may have been fighting to preserve slavery."

I guess Oren singlehandedly has decided this whole States Rights argument. Congratulations, Oren.

- IRONY WATCH: In local business news, "Unilever To Expand Slim-Fast Plant In Covington."

More babies!

Many congratulations for more babies! First, Val's friend Melanie of The Jackson Gang and her hubby Roger went into labor yesterday and had Erica this morning, and then Val's cousin Josh and his wife Cathy had their little Audrey this morning, too! Way to go, guys! Can't wait for our mini Cooper to hang out with the new chicks on the block!

Wow, was that really two weeks ago?

Val and I went to the pediatrician for Cooper's two-week checkup (can you believe her due date was this past Sunday?!), and the doc was impressed at just how perfect our little boy is doing. Well, I mean, physically and all. He's up to 6 pounds, 8 ounces, which is ten ounces more than last week. I'm told that's good, so I'll go with it.

As for the questions about his wiggly crying fits, the doc wants us to change his feeding habits first, feeding him a little less each time, but feed him more often. We'll try that first, exorcism second. Or third. He also gave us some samples of formula for lactose intolerance, if that's what's bugging him, since Mom reminded me that I had to use a special formula as a baby.

Cooper is a delight, of course, so don't take my talking about his wailing as if we regret our decision! Not that anyone did. It's all part of parenthood, which is why I'm awake and typing this alone in the living room watching So You Think You Can Dance while Val is asleep. We may be two ships passing in the night, but hopefully we'll be two well-rested ones!

I was at work today when his umbilical cord fell off. *Sniff* How much more will I miss?! It starts with the umbilical cord, it ends with dropping him off at college! *Sniff*

Meanwhile, on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, Nigel totally ripped Nathan for being an immature punk and smug about not being in the bottom three this week, and that was wicked awesome. I'm not a Nathan fan, so I was hoping he'd go, too.

Instead, the bottom three was Karen/Kevin, Ryan/Ellenore and Pauline/Peter.

After Nigel attacked the bottom six for inept solos (dude was in a bad mood tonight), he let Pauline go, then Peter, so all the tappers are gone. I think in this case they didn't want to split up any pairs, which ruined Pauline's chances.

Catching up with SYTYCD

While Cat looked like she was molting last night ...

 

We've been keeping up with the top 20 on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, I promise. I've even taken notes. Of course, two weeks ago, before I could write about it and just 30 minutes after the show ended, Val's water broke, and last week I was too busy with the "post cute pics of our mini Cooper" to get around to talking about the show.

 

The top 16 isn't easy to figure out, and so far I don't think we've really attached ourselves to any teams like this summer. Let's look at last night:

 

KAREN & KEVIN - They did a disco routine that was okay to us, though we figured the judges would like it, and they did.

 

ASHLEIGH & JAKOB - In their intro tapes last night we found out for the first time that he's best buds with last season winner Jeanine, which may not help but it can't hurt, either. They do a Mandy Moore routine involving a cane, and as usual anytime there's a prop, we spend the whole time watching it and not the dancers.

 

PAULINE & PETER - They do a fun quickstep, dubbed the "kiss of death dance" so many times that the judges seemed to be apologizing for them being "fun" and ignoring their lack of proper technique.

 

KATHRYN & LEGACY - The closest thing to my favorite surprise of a couple, especially since all we knew about her was that she cried tears of joy a lot in Vegas, and he had more air time than Nigel and Mary in Vegas. They do a Broadway number that Val and I quite liked, and then the judges rip her to shreds for being too happy during it, which, hey, isn't that the choreographer's fault? (No! God forbid!)

 

CHANNING & VICTOR - Two contemporary dancers doing a contemporary number, it's fine but no "wow" factor.

 

ELLENORE & RYAN - A yawner of a hip-hop.

 

MOLLEE & NATHAN  - I don't like him, think she's adorable, but I couldn't disagree with the judges on their salsa. It was terrible, and judging by her "holy crap that sucked" face at the end of it, she knew what was coming.

 

NOELLE & RUSSELL - They did an Afro-Jazz dance that involved a lot of bouncing around and jiggling, and the judges were impressed, though they would have praised the number no matter what if only so they could boast about how diverse their competition is.

 

Going home? I say Peter and ... Channing?

 

Meanwhile, on DANCING WITH THE STARS, Aaron and Karina got the boot, which was no surprise. Next week, the semifinals!  

 

Baby Don't Cry

This was NOT a good day to be the first morning that I went off to work and Val was left home alone with our mini Cooper. Let's just say that the noise that comes out of his mouth when he's unhappy is anything but mini. He's the most important thing in our lives now, and so cute and cuddly and more awesome than I could ever imagine, but for real, we'll be making him feel guilty about this for decades to come.  

Starting last week, Cooper started having crying fits for an hour or so, almost inconsolable. You have to change positions constantly and try to keep him distracted, which can work for several minutes, until he remembers that he's unhappy about something. You can change him, feed him, walk around, sit in the rocker, it doesn't matter. It could be his tummy, except that he only does it once or twice a day.

And this isn't just crying; we're talking about the wailing of a baby that makes you question why you volunteered for this duty. That two hours of crying threatens to negate the 22 other hours of the day that he coos adorably. And yet the crying can be so pitiful as to be adorable, too. He has several different versions, one of which is this rat-a-tat cry that only reduces me and Val to goo because it sounds so sad.

I don't know if we fit the definition of Cooper having colic, but it certainly seems like it. According to Wikipedia the definition is "a condition in which an otherwise healthy baby cries or screams frequently and for extended periods without any discernible reason." The good news? "The condition ... almost invariably disappears, often very suddenly, before the baby is three to four months old." I'm sure that's what our pediatrician will tell us tomorrow for his two-week checkup.

This morning Squirmy McFussybritches started one of his episodes about 12:30. By 1:30 Val came to wake me up because she didn't know what to do anymore. For the next hour and a half I tried to do what I could, to mixed success and failure. By 3 it was time for his feeding, and that seemed to calm him down, but by that time I had to get ready for work, and leave Val with a look of terror on her face. Thankfully he eventually let her get some sleep. My poor darling. I can only hope that Cooper only cries uncontrollably like that when I'm at home and that he sleeps and acts cute the nine hours I'm away. 

It was a lot easier when I was home for the first 12 days and could take the late-night shift, we traded sleep schedules, and my Mom-in-law stayed with us several days to help out. Monday afternoon when I got home from work and Cooper was in hour two of a three-hour fit, even she looked a bit confused and frayed, understandably. I took him outside to watch golfers hack their way up the fairway in our backyard and let Val and her mom eat lunch, figuring that the golfers can't care that much if Cooper's unhappy, and if they do, deal with it because you're not Tiger in need of perfect silence, and I would tell Tiger to stick it, too. He has kids, he'd understand.

The 18-20 hours that Cooper does sleep, he's so adorable, with both of his hands pointed up towards his ears and making cute baby noises. When he's really tired he sleeps so soundly that we can barely keep him awake long enough to eat. The first several days Cooper would only cry and turn bright red when we changed his diaper.

Of course, he has to wake up sometime on his own, and this is what transpires:

"Code Red, the baby is waking up! Will he be happy? Will he have a messy diaper? How do you keep a one-week old baby entertained? Get out the swing! Get out the bouncer! Kill a woolly mammoth! Whatever it takes!"

Soooo ... two weeks down, about a million to go?

Top 5 on DWTS

I'm way, way behind on my reality show updates, and I don't really think y'all care, so to catch up with last night's DANCING WITH THE STARS ...

 

Val and I loved the decade themes in the Latin round. Mya & Dmitry's 70s Disco and the futuristic Paso Doble by Joanna and Derek was perhaps the most entertaining dancing I've seen on this show since Joey's "Star Wars" dance many years ago.

 

In fact, it almost redeemed the fact that this has to be the worst top 5 since I started watching the show with Val three-plus years ago. Few would stand up in comparison with past top five contestants as a whole, and I remember liking more of the past finalists as people.

 

Mya & Dmitry - I think he's one of the best male choreographers on the show now. I'm always interested in their performances, and yes, I know, it helps that he has the most talented star.

 

Aaron & Karina - It's pretty clear that he doesn't have many fans, and I think he's focusing too much on perfecting the "gay" arm movements and not enough on the manly ones.

 

Joanna & Derek - Don't care for her, either, and her legs are too stiff for a quickstep in their first dance of the night.

 

Kelly & Louis - She's so adorable, and yet I can't get over the problems with her technique, and she's not fast enough for the quicker dances.

 

Donny & Kym - He's actually gotten more reserved as we've gone along. Who told him to do that? Who wants a domesticated Donny? Not me!

 

Hey, Len, Donny, it's not "arty farty," it's "artsy fartsy!" This isn't difficult!

 

Tigers saw the form of their destructor, and it was giant and orange

Do you remember the scene at the end of "Ghostbusters," when the guys are covered in marshmallow goo and celebrating after crossing the streams to blow up the door to Gozer's realm, and Ray sniffs, "Ugh, it smells like burnt dog hair," then looks over at Peter and is all, "Oh, Veckman, I'm sorry," because he just remembered that gal-pal Dana was turned into the dog-like creature that was toasted?

 

That's how Val looked at me Saturday night after cheering for the Vols to score yet another touchdown, then looking over at my horrified Tigers-lovin' face.

 

Ye gads, the U of M is now to be pitied, the football team is so cover-your-eyes awful. Hey coach West, I think there are a bunch of boxes that can be used for moving back behind the Schnuck's near our house.

 

Spotless!

We finally gathered the courage to give Cooper a wash all over, which was a no-brainer since earlier in the day we were changing his diaper and failed to cover the most important part, which proceeded to spray our little guy in his hair. Ewww. Maybe he'll be less upset when he can get a full bath in the tub with his toys.







Once clean, changed and fed, he did what every guy would do in that situation. Napped.

And yes, it takes both parents of a newborn to hold down a six-pound baby trying not to get washed in the sink. I tell ya, the boy can squirm!

This is how government science grants should be earned!

The Nobel Prizes are cool and all, but nowhere near as interesting as the hows and whys of who wins the Ig Nobel prizes every year. Take a gander at the 2009 winners featuring Very Important Research:

* Biology: Fumiaki Taguchi, Song Guofu and Zhang Guanglei of Kitasato University Graduate School of Medical Sciences in Sagamihara, Japan, for demonstrating that kitchen refuse can be reduced more than 90% in mass by using bacteria extracted from the feces of giant pandas.

* Chemistry: Javier Morales, Miguel Apatiga and Victor M. Castano of Universidad Nacional Autonoma de Mexico, for creating diamond film from tequila.

* Economics: The directors, executives, and auditors of four Icelandic banks — Kaupthing Bank, Landsbanki, Glitnir Bank, and Central Bank of Iceland — for demonstrating that tiny banks can be rapidly transformed into huge banks, and vice versa (and for demonstrating that similar things can be done to an entire national economy).

* Literature: Ireland's police service for writing and presenting more than 50 traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country - Prawo Jazdy - whose name in Polish means "Driving Licence".

* Mathematics: Gideon Gono, governor of Zimbabwe's Reserve Bank, for giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers by having his bank print notes with denominations ranging from one cent to one hundred trillion dollars.

* Medicine: Donald L. Unger of Thousand Oaks, California, US, for investigating a possible cause of arthritis of the fingers, by diligently cracking the knuckles of his left hand but not his right hand every day for more than 60 years.

* Peace: Stephan Bolliger, Steffen Ross, Lars Oesterhelweg, Michael Thali and Beat Kneubuehl of the University of Bern, Switzerland, for determining whether it is better to be smashed over the head with a full bottle of beer or with an empty bottle.

* Physics: Katherine K. Whitcome of the University of Cincinnati, Daniel E Lieberman of Harvard University and Liza J. Shapiro of the University of Texas, all in the US, for analytically determining why pregnant women do not tip over.

* Public Health: Elena N. Bodnar, Raphael C. Lee, and Sandra Marijan of Chicago, US, for inventing a bra that can be quickly converted into a pair of gas masks - one for the wearer and one to be given to a needy bystander.

* Veterinary medicine: Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson of Newcastle University, UK, for showing that cows with names give more milk than cows that are nameless.

Cute Cooper Pics of the Weekend

He just looks like he enjoys sleeping, doesn't he?



When our mini Cooper is wide awake, we've tried to keep him stimulated with some of his toys. He hasn't taken to the swing yet, but the play area kept him interested for at least fifteen seconds, so score!



This weekend we've gladly let our friends use us to meet Cooper and provide us some sort of social interaction. First, Friday Meredith visited while in town from Jackson:



This afternoon Tracy came over to meet our little guy:

Baby Valfrey Challenge Results!

Sorry I took so long, but the numbers have been crunched and I can finally congratulate cousin Karla for winning the contest! Her keys to victory included being within one MINUTE of his time of birth, a pound of his weight, one inch of length and five days of delivery, which wasn't easy since he was almost two weeks early.

If you want a copy of the Excel spreadsheet for the full scoring and I don't have your email, send me a note and I'll get it to ya.

1 Karla - 155
2 Steven R - 142
3 Sara H - 140
4 Amy J - 125
5 Stacy E - 123
6 Randy Be - 121
7 Polly A - 113
8 Kevin H. - 109
9 Bev S - 108
10 Karen P - 107
11 Cody B - 104
12 Cheryl B - 98
13 Carol H - 95
14 Natalie M - 92
15 Julie H. - 86
16 Amy C - 79
17 Heather K - 76
18 Michael C. - 75
18 Scott R - 75
20 Jenny H - 74
21 Rann R - 71
22 Jeremy N - 70
23 Diane R - 65
24 Jeff D - 60
25 Lynn P - 57
26 Will H - 53
27 Destiny D - 52
28 Sarah R - 42
29 Stephanie L - 38
30 Rob P - 25
31 Jenn R - 21
32 Mary P - 0

The "shout out" that should depress the country

The Lefties who still make fun of President Bush for continuing to read "My Pet Goat" to schoolchildren when the first plane crashed into the WTC on 9/11 will probably not even make a peep of criticism towards their Obamessiah's behavior at a press conference where he was supposed to lend leadership following the Ft. Hood shootings:

Obama's Frightening Insensitivity Following Shooting
A bad week for Democrats compounded by an awful moment for Barack Obama.
By ROBERT A. GEORGE

President Obama didn't wait long after Tuesday's devastating elections to give critics another reason to question his leadership, but this time the subject matter was more grim than a pair of governorships.

After news broke out of the shooting at the Fort Hood Army post in Texas, the nation watched in horror as the toll of dead and injured climbed. The White House was notified immediately and by late afternoon, word went out that the president would speak about the incident prior to a previously scheduled appearance. At about 5 p.m., cable stations went to the president. The situation called for not only his trademark eloquence, but also grace and perspective.

But instead of a somber chief executive offering reassuring words and expressions of sympathy and compassion, viewers saw a wildly disconnected and inappropriately light president making introductory remarks. At the event, a Tribal Nations Conference hosted by the Department of Interior's Bureau of Indian affairs, the president thanked various staffers and offered a "shout-out" to "Dr. Joe Medicine Crow -- that Congressional Medal of Honor winner." Three minutes in, the president spoke about the shooting, in measured and appropriate terms. Who is advising him?

Anyone at home aware of the major news story of the previous hours had to have been stunned. An incident like this requires a scrapping of the early light banter. The president should apologize for the tone of his remarks, explain what has happened, express sympathy for those slain and appeal for calm and patience until all the facts are in. That's the least that should occur.

Remember, for the Obamacons and our president, it's not about us, it's always about them.

Jeff's 2009 Baseball Predictions in Review

There's always next year?

My predictions made in April weren't too awful:

AL EAST: Boston Red Sox - Have to put my team here, right? I was just hoping for another implosion by the Evil Empire.

AL CENTRAL: Cleveland Indians - Wow, not even close. If they'd even tried it wouldn't have been that tough to beat Detroit or the White Sox.

AL WEST: Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles of California of the U.S.A. of Earth - Though they started slow, this was too obvious. Every other team in the AL West is mediocre at best.

Wild Card: Dang Yankees - Yuck. Of course they won the AL East. Of course they're in the World Series. And now I have to resort to rooting for the Phillies as a result. Double yuck.

NL EAST: Philadelphia Phillies - It's not easy to defend, unless you're in the same division as the choke-job Mets, the rebuilding Braves, the worst-team-in-baseball Nationals and that Marlins team that is only good once a decade.

NL CENTRAL: Chicago Cubs - I really couldn't have figured on the Cardinals being as good as they were with that pitching staff. But I also should always expect the Cubs to fold like I do in poker whenever anyone raises me a nickel.

NL WEST: L.A. Dodgers - By default. Really, the Giants? Diamondbacks? Who's the other team? San Pietro? Saint Diego?

Wild Card: Mets. Okay, okay, it's time to stop buying into preseason hype and realize that this organization is a disaster.

WORLD SERIES: Red Sox over Phillies. I was right about the AL East beating the Phillies, just the absolutely wrong team. The Evil Empire has won a title in Cooper's lifetime. Drats.

One whole week!

Happy One Week Birthday, Cooper!



It was a beautiful day outside so we hung out on the back patio for a while this afternoon, trying to keep our mini Cooper awake so that he'll stop being wide awake at 3 in the morning! Yeah, how's that working out for me? Not so well. The boy just likes to sleep all day and party all night!



BIG YAWN!!!!



He could sleep next to a construction site:

Super Duper Cooper!

Yep, I guess once we're back home and my Mom-in-Law has gone, we're trying to keep Cooper happy and catch up on sleep, the blogging gets a little slow!

We went to the pediatrician for the first time this morning, and he told us that our little man is doing great. He's Cooper Duper! He's at 5 pounds, 14 ounces right now, which is pretty good according to the baby doc, having lost just a few ounces, and up to 19.5 inches long. We'll go back next Wednesday for a follow-up, and it seems like they're going to keep letting us take him home!

So here are a few pictures until I can write some more. First, Cooper finally got to meet Nana this morning! We drove over after his appointment. He only cried for a few minutes in his car seat, which is either because he was hungry or just felt cramped in his car seat. At first we only had a baby headrest, but then realized that he's so tiny that he needed the headrest-within-a-headrest as well. Here's how he looks:



Anyway ... Cooper is Nana's third great-grandson on our side, with another two down in Mississippi, and even a great-great-grandson. Somebody get our Nana a great-granddaughter!



This is how Cooper sleeps, one or both hands up by his ears. He loves to have his arms up by his face, and the boy is strong! No matter how much we swaddle him with his arms down, he's like Houdini getting out of a strait jacket in 15 seconds flat. He wants his hands to suck. He NEEDS his hands to suck! We love having this bassinet, by the way. We can keep him next to us in the living room during the day, next to the bed at night, and with the sleep positioner that Amy gave us, he's snug and we don't worry about him as much. (Not that we don't constantly peek over to make sure he's sleeping and nothing's covering his mouth.)



Finally, from Sunday, sis-in-law Cheryl stopped by to say hey to our mini Cooper and appropriately ooh and aah some more.



Speaking of grandmothers and our babies, here's Val's Mammaw with Cooper from this weekend. She didn't get to hold him in the hospital since he was under the burger warmer when she visited, so she was happy to get to come over and feel his cuddly-uddlyness. Cooper is Mammaw's eighth great-grandchild, and fifth great-grandson.

Ho Ho and all that

This pic from an email courtesy my Mom-In-Law in relation to my concern about keeping up with the neighbors in the cove:

Shout out!

My co-workers give a shout-out to then-one day old mini Cooper! Thanks guys!

His first Saturday!

Mom and Aunt Lynn drove over from Chapel Hill this morning! Cooper got to meet his Grams!



This is one of the things on my list to get in the last two weeks. Oops! So in the driving rain yesterday I drove to the party store and picked one up, and my Dad-in-Law helped me put it up in the rain yesterday, along with a balloon and bow on the mailbox.

How to tell that you're the parent of a newborn:

When someone at the table burps, and you want to yell out, "Good boy! That's a good boy!"

Welcome, my son!

We are home!!! Cooper is sleeping through it but he'll explore later. :)

Tired of the hospital

Can we go home now?

Always looking at Mommy

Wide awake for Mommy!

Cooper says, "Go Sox!"

Dr and Ped'cian said we can start discharge process. Packed, Val ate and fed Cooper, now waiting for paperwork.

Cooper was a night owl last night. Mommy and Daddy tried to get some sleep but didn't get nearly enough. And so it begins...

12 hours is a long time for a newborn

From Wednesday night, celebrating Cooper's half-day birthday.

About to start our third night here, second with Squirmy McHandsucker over in the bassinet. Ready to get home and find a routine.

This is the only day in Cooper's life he can get a pass on the "What? Were you born yesterday?" insult.

Just the three of us

Val and I celebrated our third anniversary by welcoming our bundle of tar-thick black poopy joy, and instead of a planned dinner at either Outback or Shogun we had steak from the cafeteria. (As a congrats the hospital offers a "special meal" to mommys and their partner.)

I am certainly not complaining about sharing. Besides, the next few years he won't know, so we can celebrate his birthday on Saturday and we can sneak out on our anniversary to go out and talk about him all night.

I've actually left twice each day for a half-hour (while her parents visited), to get stuff from home and some lunch. when I realized we wer e staying longer I needed extra clothes, and a different t-shirt for Cooper to spit up on overnight. Not that I mind; the stain is like a badge of honor. We are going to look like we just went on a 7 day cruise when I pack all of this in my trunk!

Cooper update

Our little tax break is one day old! It's been a long 30 hours, but in a good way. We won't freak out until we are sent home to care for this little dude!

Cooper is doing better today. His blood sugar was low at first but fine by the evening. His temperature was low most of the day so he stayed under what I call the burger warmer in our room. His temp is fine now too, so we're feeling better. The big thing right now is that he doesn't like to eat much, so we've had to mix breast and bottle to varying degrees of success. That is the biggest reason we're not in a hurry to go.

Val is sore but walking around well and took a needed shower last night. We actually got a lot of sleep last night in the time between feedings. Val liked sleeping next to his bassinet and hearing him coo all night.

On a cool note, Cooper has already had TV time. My co-workers put his picture up during the 5p news last night and the end of GMM this morning. Just remember Cooper, 15 minutes of fame are fleeting!

Looks like a baby to me

The debate is on to decide if Cooper favors his Mommy or Daddy's side!

Cooper is finally napping in Val's arms (he's had a busy morning), so Val hopes to get up and stretch. She is doing great, just very very sore.

Open wide!

Cooper Howell born 6:47am. 6lb 1 oz! 18 1/4 length. Our boy!

Val ready for delivery

It is Cooper time!!!!

Holy moly great googly moogly this is for real! Oh yes, we are about to have a baby!

About 9:30 last night Val's water broke. To be sure that was surreal. It started as a leak, and by the time we were on the way to the hospital it was a gusher. In the meantime I fulfilled my stereotypical duty of running around the house trying to grab her bag, add my own stuff, get snacks for us and the nurses, and take the long 5 minute drive to the hospital.

We got Val checked in, and after they wheeled her to Labor & Delivery I had to wait in the waiting room for them to examine her. So I called Mom and Dad, and her Mom arrived.

Right now it is 1 am and she just got her epidural. The doc will start inducing at 3.

By the way, to my Darling Valerie, happy third anniversary today, Oct 28! What are the odds?! I guess 1 in 365?

More updates later of course!